Not gonna lie, I have been umming and ahhing about whether or not I should share this piece of writing and today I am in one of those “screw it” moods because as my counsellor would say “should is just could but with added shame” and let’s face it shame is a useless emotion - unless of course you did something truly terrible like murder!
I hope you don't mind a bit of TMI about why I’m so grateful for flexible, remote working… And if you do mind - well, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
There are many reasons that remote working has been a godsend for me including the following:
finally being able to work for a large, national charity despite being based in Liverpool instead of London
no long commute and having to put up with rush hour traffic or unreliable public transport on a daily basis
when I'm having a bad mental health day I can stay off camera and not have to face people who I know will only want to help but seem to exacerbate it further.
The cutest remote working colleague - aka my dog Jett! Seriously look at that face😍
What happened last year would have been by far the most embarrassing, horrifying thing that ever happened to me… Had I been in the office.
In fact, had I been in the office, I just would’ve never returned!
Let me backtrack: I’d been under a lot of stress leading up to this incident. The kind of stress that snowballs into migraines, stomach issues, acne, chronic fatigue — you name it.
One day, after a particularly intense week, I was finishing up a major project I’d been working on for months. The end was in sight and I was feeling a great deal of relief that the project had gone well and was confident that any potential problems had been extinguished.
My stomach had been feeling particularly sore for a few hours which I initially put down to pre period pains. I'd taken some pain killers and had a hot chocolate next to me - in hindsight the worst thing I could have done in this situation, not realising that the pain was not period related!
Anyway, I'm sure you're all realising where this is heading so please feel free to tap out now while you still can.
My stomach started gurgling. Loudly. I quickly realised the pains were not what I thought and that I should probably head to the toilet soon. Didn't feel that urgent though, I could quickly finish the email I was working on. Having ADHD, it’s so hard to get back into a task if I stop so I really wanted to just get the email finished.
But within minutes, the pain intensified. I realised I wasn’t going to hold it as well as I thought. I flung my laptop aside and sprinted upstairs, my brain screaming that line from Holidate: “Please don’t let me be the girl who shits her pants!” And just like Emma Roberts' character I just about made it into the bathroom but a second too late... Yes, I shat my pants…
At first I cried and I don't mean dainty, pretty crying due to a little embarrassment. I mean: full on wails, hyperventilating, snot induced, howls of despair - what else can this fucking year throw at me?! Granted it hadn’t been a lot and yes I’d been under an enormous amount of stress but this is something that has legit not happened to me since I was at school!
Seriously guys, had I been office based - I would've disappeared and lived a hermit life in the woods for the rest of my days!
However, once I'd calmed down and stripped out of my clothes, thrown them away (because let’s face it I wasn’t ever going to wear them again) and got into the shower, I started to laugh. Yes, I was still hysterical but at least it was laughter instead of tears. And because my AUDHD brain thinks in movie and song quotes, I thought of the scene in the Sex and City movie where Carrie is trying to reassure Charlotte that she's already been through the worst of it and says: "Honey, you shit your pants this year... Maybe you're done!"
There's something very comforting in hitting bottom - pun intended!
So, I messaged my manager to let her know I wasn't feeling well and had a day of rest on the sofa playing Disney Dreamlight Valley. The next day I was back to business, better than ever
This isn’t a regular thing for me, but can you imagine the humiliation if I’d been in an office? Remote work gave me the dignity and space to recover — emotionally and physically — from an uncomfortable, human moment.
To employers: If you can offer flexible working, please do. Trust your employees to choose where they work best — whether that’s in the office, at home, or a mix of both. As long as the work gets done, does it really matter where it happens?
Sometimes, when shit (literally) happens — remote work is the grace we all need. 💩💩
P.S Never thought I’d have an excuse for the poop emoji!
